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PUISI BERANTAI LUCU

A.      Seuntai sajak perjuangan buat generasiku 
B.      Seuntai sajak ASMARA buat kekasihku 
C.      Seuntai sajak KEHIDUPAN TERNAK AYAMKU 
A.      Pd pertengahan agustus 45

Kami bangkit merebut Kemerdekaan

Kami siramkan DARAH PERJUANGAN

Tapi aku masih BERBARING diatas…

B.      Kekasihku

Aku tak meyangka engkau begitu tega melakukan itu

Kau putuskan cintaku uang suci

Ingin rasanya aku melumat kembali…….

C.      Panatat ayamku

Kini tampak membesar

Sebentar lagi telur akan keluar lewat…

A.      Celah – celah benteng perjuangan

Akan ku hancurkan penjajah

Aku muak , aku benci kekerasan

Dan ingin rasanya kubunuh…

C.  Ayamku ………

B. Kau sia siakan cintaku

Dulu kala cinta kita bersemi

Kau merengkuh dalam dekapanku

Dan kini………..

A.      Hanya tinggal setetes darah

Tapi aku masih berdiri kokoh

Kutantang seribu penjajah

Dengan sebilah pedang pedang dikananku

Seujung keris dikiriku

Aku hancurkan ……………

B.      Surat cinta yang kau kirim dulu

Kini masih tersimpan dibuku diary

Kubiarkan semua kenangan

Tapi aku tak mampu mengeluarkan …………. 

C.      Telur –telur ayamku

Yang besar – besar

Sebentar lagi menetas……..

Dan aku akan bayak mempunyai 
A.      Mayat –mayat yang trbujur kaku

Dengan penuh luka didada

Kalau maut mengancamku

Aku takan berpaling dari……….

B.      Matamu

Yang besar bagai bola bekel

Tapi kini hanya tinggal…………

C.      Bulu ayamku

Tumbuh satu persatu

Kini kulihat membesar

Oh …..betapa bahagia hatiku

Ayamku …………

A.      Kubunuh kau …

kau penghianat….

Aku pimpin laskar perjuangan

Takan gentar oleh seribu…….

B.      Bayangan cintamu yang biru

Dan kini kau berpaling dari………

C.      Kotoran ayamku

Yang menyebarkan aroma jingga

Aku peternak ayam setiap hari kujual ayamku di…….

A.      Medan perang …

Darah membasahi bumi pertiwi

Tempat Pahlawan membela negerinya

Demi kemerdekaan ……..

B.      Cintaku 

Pada seorang yang bergayut dihatiku

Tapi kandas ditengah jalan

Hingga terbayang …………..

C.      Tai ayamku

Keras seperti…….

A.      Dada ku

Kau tusuk..

Walau maut akan …..

B.      Mencari cintaku….

Dulu begitu pasrah dalam rengkuhanku

Kau hanya mendekap…..

C.      Ayamku

Begitu besar jasamu padaku

Kau merubah hidupku dari kemiskinan menjadi…

A.      Keberingasan

Dalam membunuh musuh

Aku berteriak lantang dengan menggenggam ………

B.      Sepucuk surat cinta…

Kini hanya kenangan

Aku tak mudah melupakan kala kita sama-sama………..

C.      Bertelur

Ayamku kini bertelur lagi

Kuperhatikan telurmu keluar dari…….

A.      Moncong senapan musuh

Dan kulihat panser musuh

Yang mulai mengeluarkan …………..

B.      Janji tuk sehidup semati…

Bulan bintang menjadi saksi cinta kita

Kasih kala ku menatap mu

Daku teringat

C.      Pantat ayamku….

Akankah kau mengeluarkan……

A.      Aku…

Berdiri diantara erangan dan rintihan…

Kudengar diantara….

B.      Kidung asmara

Gamelan cinta bertalu talu

Diantara dua hati menyatu..

Kasih.., kau hanya memberikan sebagian ….

C.      Telur-telurmu

Satu demi satu dan….

A.      Meledak ……Dorrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tapi aku masih berdiri menantang

Kugenggam bambu runcing bertahtah merah putih….

Aku bermandikan darah perjuangan

Namun aku tak menyangka…

B.      Kau jual murah cintamu

Lalu kau berpaling dariku

Kau anggap hina diriku

Walau diriku tak mapu…..

C.      Beranak lagi

Sudah sekian lama telurmu menetas lagi

Ayamku aku harap kau………….

A.      Kenang kenanglah kami

Yang tinggal tulang diperut bumi

Kami berbaring diantara…..

B.      Cinta dan dusta

Berbaur jadi Satu

Kurelakan kau pergi dariku

Dan aku hanya berkata…..

C.      Ayamku

Bertelur lagi buatku

Semakin bayak telurmu

Hatiku semakin senang

Karena hanya engkau yang mampu…….

A.      Membunuh musuh musuhku

Sambil memegang ujung tombak

Aku berteriak……

B.      Sayang………

Biar kau baca puisi puisiku

Sekalipun cinta kita telah……..

C.      Kujual dipasar…

Dan kini tinggal ayamku yang masih kecil

Bermain dengan lucunya….

Betapa senang hatiku melihat…..

A.      Darah yang berceceran

Kubiarkan merah putih menjulang diangkasa

Pertanda perjuangan mencapai puncak…..

B.      Asmaraku

Dulu tumbuh bersemi

Kini layu ditrpa panas cintamu

Kasih…, kudo’akan kamu…..

C.      Dimakan ayam

Hinga kini tumbuh membesar dan menjadi…..

A.      Pahlawan, dalam berjuang demi bangsanya

Sungguh besar jasamu…ooooohh………

B.      Kekasihku

Biar aku sendiri menatap masa depan untuk…

C.      Bertelur sebanyak mungkin

Hingga kau banyak mempunyai….

A.      Pejuang kemerdekaan tanah air kita

Dan aku harus berhasil jadi salah satu orang yang….

B.      Berhasil dalam bercinta…

Tapi kau selalu menghindar bila kutatap wajahmu

Dan kau selalu….

C.      Menyodorkan pantatmu

Yang siap bertelur

Kau sibuk mencari tempat untuk …………..

A.      Membunuh musuh

Aku pertaruhkan nyawaku

Karena aku pahlawan…..

B.      Yang menderita karena Cinta

Kasih ….,sebagai tanda perpisahan

Ingin rasanya

Aku memandangmu dalam dalam, dan……………

C.      Kukeluarkan telur telurmu

Aku sangat bahagia walau hanya sekejap melihatnya

Ingin rasanya telur itu…………….

A.       Kutusuk dengan sebilah pedang

Sambil  aku berteriak ………………

B.      Cintaku kandas ditengah jalan….

Hingga akhirnya…………

C.      Dierami oleh induknya

Ooooooooohhhh ….,ayamku seandainya……..

B.      CINTA DITOLAK DUKUN BERTINDAK………..A.      TIDAAAAAAAKKKK………..TIIIIIIDAKKKKKK
Itu Tidak Mungkin…

B.      Biar kau pergi bersama yang lain

Aku akan  BERKATA

A,B dan C : MERDEKA………………!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cerita Lucu Anggota DPR RI
Ada orang desa yang terpilih menjadi anggota DPR RI. Orang tersebut mendatangi seorang Kyai dikampungya dengan mobil mewah dan disertai dengan supir serta ajudannya.

Anggota DPR RI	:	Pak Kyai, hemat mana saya dengan pak lurah?
Pak Kyai	:	Yaa jelas hebatan anggota DPR RI, gaji 1 banding 1000
Anggota DPR RI	:	(Tersenyum bangga lalu bertanya) Kalau dengan Bupati pak Kyai?
Pak Kyai	:	Yaa masih hebat DPR RI, punya kewenangan menentukan anggaran
Anggota DPR RI	:	Kalau dengan menteri Kyai?
Pak Kyai	:	Yaa.. masih hebatan DPR RI, menteri takut dengan DPR RI
Anggota DPR RI	:	(Tersenyum sambil berkata) Betul..Betul.. Kalau dengan presiden, Kyai?
Pak Kyai	:	Yaa.. masih heba DPR RI, presiden juga takut sama DPR RI
Anggota DPR RI	:	Lha, kalau dengan Nabi, gimana pak Kyai?
Pak Kyai	:	(Terdiam sejenak sambil berfikir, lalu berkata) Yaa.. masih hebat DPR RI
Anggota DPR RI	:	Kok bisa? pak Kyai ada-ada saja
Pak Kyai	:	Nabi masih takut sama Tuhan! Kalau DRP RI sudah nggak takut lagi sama Tuhan!!!

Cerita Lucu

MALAM PERTAMA

usianya masih muda sekitar 18 tahunan tetapi telah jatuh cinta pada seorang nenek berumur sekitar 50 tahunan yang bernama Ijah. Karena Usman sudah bekerja, maka Usman ingin menikahi Ijah.

Setelah menikah, Usman ingin menikmati malam pertama bersama Ijah. Setelah berjuang dengan susah payah, akhirnya Usman berhasil menembus sela-sela pahanya si Ijah dan memasukan burungnya ke liang si Ijah. Dengan bangga Usman memuji Ijah :

"Wahhh hebat benar Ijah, masih perawan !!!"
Dengan kalemnya Ijah menjawab :

"Maaf Mas, tadi bukan perawan saya yang sampeyan tembus, tetapi celana dalam saya yang belum sempat saya buka"

Cinderella story

CINDERELLA STORY
Once upon a time there was a beautiful girl called Cinderella and she had two ugly step sisters who were very unkind who made her do all the hard work. She had to sweep the floors, do all the dishes, while they dressed up in fine clothes and went to lots of parties.
One day a special invitation arrived at Cinderella’s house. It was from the royal palace. The king’s only son was a truly handsome prince was going to have a grand ball. Three girls were invited to come. Cinderella knew she wouldn’t be allowed to go to the ball. But the ugly sisters, ho ho ho, they were excited. They couldn’t talk about anything else.
When the day of the ball came, they made such a fuss. Poor Cinderella had to rush about upstairs and downstairs. She fixed their hair in fancy waves and curls. She helped them put on their expensive new dresses. And she arranged their jewels just so. As soon as they had gone, Cinderella sat down by the fire and she said. “Oh I do wish I could go to the ball”. The next moment, standing beside her was a lovely old lady with a silver wand in here hand. “Cinderella, she said ” I am your fairy godmother and you shall go to the ball. But first you must go into the garden and pick a golden pumpkin, then bring me six mice from the mousetraps, a whiskered rat from the rat trap, and six lizards. You’ll find the lizards behind the watering can.
So Cinderella fetched a golden pumpkin, six grey mice, a whiskered rate, six lizards. The fairy godmother touched them with her wand and the pumpkin became a golden coach, the mice became six grey horses, the rat became a coachman with the most enormous moustache, and the lizards became six footmen dressed in green and yellow, then the fairy godmother touched Cinderella with the wand and her old dress became a golden dress sparkling with jewels while on her feet was the prettiest pair of glass slippers ever seen. Remember said the fairy godmother you must leave the ball before the clock strikes twelve because at midnight the magic ends. “Thank you fairy godmother” said Cinderella and she climbed into the coach.
When Cinderella arrived at the ball she looked so beautiful that everyone wondered who she was! Even the ugly sisters. The Prince of course asked here to dance with him and they danced all evening. He would not dance with anyone else. Now Cinderella was enjoying the ball so much that she forgot her fairy godmothers warning until it was almost midnight and the clock began to strike. One. Two. Three. She hurried out of the ballroom. Four. Five. Six. As she ran down the palace steps one of her glass slippers fell off. Seven. Eight. Nine. She ran on toward the golden coach. Ten Eleven Twelve. Then there was Cinderella in her old dress. The golden pumpkin lay in her feet. And scampering down off down the road were six grey mice, a whiskered rat and six green lizards.. So Cinderella had to walk home and by the time the ugly sisters returned home was sitting quietly by the fire.
Now when Cinderella ran from the palace, the prince tried to follow her and he found the glass slipper. He said, “I shall marry the beautiful girl whose foot fits this slipper and only her. IN the morning the prince went from house to house with the glass slipper and every young lady tried to squeeze her foot into it. But it didn’t’ fit any of them.
At last the prince came to Cinderella’s house. First one ugly sister tried to squash her foot into the slipper. But her foot was too wide and fat. Then the other ugly sister tried but her foot was too long and thin. Please said Cinderella, let me try. “The slipper won’t fit you”, said the ugly sisters. “You didn’t go to the ball!” But Cinderella slipped her foot into the glass slipper and it fit perfectly. The next moment standing beside her was the fairy godmother. She touched Cinderella with the wand and there she was in a golden dress sparkling with jewels and on her feet was the prettiest pair of glass slippers ever seen. The ugly sisters were so surprised that, for once they couldn’t think of anything to say. But the Prince knew what to say. He asked Cinderella to marry him.
And then there was a happy wedding. Everyone who had gone to the ball was invited, even the ugly sisters. There was wonderful food, lots of music and dancing. And the Prince of course danced every dance with Cinderella. He would not dance with anyone else.